Conversation with my Closet

Me: Hey closet. Listen I’m having one of those not-so-skinny days, so can you be a little kind? Thanks.

Closet: Well I suppose. But don’t blame me for your decision to go to a Beer Festival and then eat chips, pizza, and Chinese food this weekend.

Me: Ouch, truth hurts. But I did go to the gym a bunch last week and drank lots of water, so everything should be back to normal right?? And just one day of fun doesn’t mean I’ll gain 10 lbs immediately, right??

Closet: How should I know! Your the brains over there remember?

Me: Fine. Just gimme those skinny jeans and tight black shirt. I’ll show you that bad decisions don’t impact me days after.

Squeeze into outfit and shuffle around looking into mirror for 10 minutes. Throw jeans and shirt to the ground.

Closet: Tsk tsk tsk. Never learns. Just to prove a point why don’t you try on that cocktail dress you really only fit into because you were sick the 2 weeks before you bought it.

Me: Oh yea? Is that a challenge? I bet I can still get into that thing!

Grabbing dress and hastily (attempting) zip it up. Throw dress to the ground.

Closet: Exactly. Maybe today is a yoga pants and hoodie kind of day? Don’t worry we’ll make up again by Wednesday.

Me: (mumbling) Fine gimme the stretchy stuff. At least my scarves and shoes aren’t so judgmental.

This entry was posted in Neurotic? Why yes I am. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Conversation with my Closet

  1. Uggh, I hear ya girl! But sooo much of that is in your head. The instant weight gain isn’t real. Be kind to yourself and think about how much fun you had this weekend!

    • Thanks so much for your always thoughtful comments. You post today was perfect for me to read because I know I haven’t packed on the pounds, it’s mostly water weight from eating bad foods. But it’s sooo frustrating!!

  2. Hi there! I saw you comment on another blog that you’re a school psych. I am too! Just graduated and in my first year (it’s a rough world out there!). Nice to meet you!

    • Yay more school psych bloggers! I feel like we are few and far between out there in the world so it’s great to read about others striving for balance amidst our crazy careers! I will definitely check out your blog πŸ™‚

  3. I had the exact same day with my closet! Except I said screw you to the skinny clothes yesterday and today we both just accepted my going for the stretchy stuff and scarves πŸ™‚ Gym again tomorrow for me!

  4. Lindsay Ann says:

    Haha that made me laugh. Everyone has those days, especially on Mondays! I organize my closet by color too. πŸ™‚

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