Closet: Well I suppose. But don’t blame me for your decision to go to a Beer Festival and then eat chips, pizza, and Chinese food this weekend.
Me: Ouch, truth hurts. But I did go to the gym a bunch last week and drank lots of water, so everything should be back to normal right?? And just one day of fun doesn’t mean I’ll gain 10 lbs immediately, right??
Closet: How should I know! Your the brains over there remember?
Me: Fine. Just gimme those skinny jeans and tight black shirt. I’ll show you that bad decisions don’t impact me days after.
Squeeze into outfit and shuffle around looking into mirror for 10 minutes. Throw jeans and shirt to the ground.
Closet: Tsk tsk tsk. Never learns. Just to prove a point why don’t you try on that cocktail dress you really only fit into because you were sick the 2 weeks before you bought it.
Me: Oh yea? Is that a challenge? I bet I can still get into that thing!
Grabbing dress and hastily (attempting) zip it up. Throw dress to the ground.
Closet: Exactly. Maybe today is a yoga pants and hoodie kind of day? Don’t worry we’ll make up again by Wednesday.
Me: (mumbling) Fine gimme the stretchy stuff. At least my scarves and shoes aren’t so judgmental.